Why You Should Stop Bragging About Your High Cannabis Tolerance

What is cool, anyways?
What is cool, anyways? /

Nobody likes a braggart. No, not a bogart, a braggart.

These blow-hards have been showing up in our lives since grade school, arrogantly one-upping their peers every chance they get. 

If some kid, for example, was better at sports than the rest of the class, they made damn sure that everyone else knew they were the stuff made of legends. If they got a new pair of Air Jordans over the weekend, they showed up to school on Monday determined to make everyone else wearing a lesser quality shoe feel like he was king. 

These were the same clowns that wouldn’t let anyone live it down if they were forced to eat mom’s leftover meatloaf on Friday nights instead of going to Chucky Cheese. The braggadocious are a relentless tribe, and some of them never outgrow it. They keep showing up in adulthood, boasting about their cars, houses and even their dongs. 

These people can drink everyone else under the table and when it comes to smoking marijuana, not even the most potent strain is strong enough to knock their exceptionally well-endowed dicks in the dirt. And well, I hate them. 

Welcome to "Planet High-Tolerance"

These pompous potheads are from planet high-tolerance. They can smoke fifty joints faster than anyone in the room and still manage to drive to the dispensary, purchase an ounce of the highest THC strain known to man, smoke it in the parking lot all by themselves and remain sober enough to make it to the nearest Taco Bell unscathed. 

These are the self-proclaimed powerlifters of pot, just ask them. They wake and bake, work and bake, they stay baked, yet they don’t get high. These self-proclaimed kings of cannabis culture aren’t even fazed after a few dab hits, the stuff that’s been known to send decades-long, professional cannabis users on a loathsome bear crawl to the toilet. 

THC is simply no match for their bold constitutions. “I can smoke like four blunts a day and it doesn’t faze me,” Caleb, a 23-year-old from Lafayette, Louisiana told The Bluntness. “There’s a lot of lightweights out there, that’s all I’m saying.”

Bragging about having a high tolerance for weed is ridiculous. It’s a doltish declaration that screams immaturity and it’s a pretty good indicator that the person spewing this nonsense was birthed with dimwitted intelligence. Even if one of these windbags of weed can actually hold their highs better than most people – and presumably some can – it doesn’t show that they are any more educated about the plant than the average consumer and it sure as shit doesn’t brand them a title-holding heavyweight. 

Budtenders will be the first to confirm. They encounter these fools all the time, and it never stops, according to them, resulting in excruciating pain. “It's just another day at the office,” said Michael, a dispensary worker from Chicago, Illinois. “These people never want to hear about terpene profiles, they only care about THC percentages.” 

You are not your tolerance levels

Out in the real world, though, the SOBs professing high tolerance are just as annoying to the rest of us. If you ask, nobody smokes more weed than they do. They could hang with Snoop, Willie or any other cannabis-infused celebrity that they perceive to be a real stoner. “I’m not bragging, but I have the highest tolerance,” one person told us. Uhm, see, you kinda are. Why else mention it? 

Look, who knows why these people feel the need to boast about such a trivial detail of their cannabis consumption. Perhaps their mothers never loved them or maybe they got bullied in school. 

Somewhere along the way, they must have discovered that if they speak highly about themselves in terms of how much marijuana they can consume and stay functional, people will listen, making them feel better about their many failures. 

Whatever the reason for their douchebagdom, responsible, modest cannabis users are none too impressed with this behavior. “They’re amateurs,” Aubrey, a 38-year-old from Marmet, West Virginia, savagely declared. “I think the same thing about guys who brag about how long their junk is, or people who brag about how much money they have. If you really have it, you’re not bragging about it,” she added.

Casey from Champaign, Illinois, agrees. “They’re idiots, and they are probably using shitty product to begin with,” she said. “I would rather know what I am using and have a low tolerance.”

The nuances of "Cannabis Use Disorder"

Not only is bragging about a high tolerance a sign that you’re compensating for something – we’re not sure what, but we have some suspicions – actually having one is a symptom of something bigger. 

“Tolerance is nothing to brag about because the development of tolerance means that your brain is being exposed to too much THC (or other cannabinoids),” Dr. Jordan Tishler, CEO of inhaleMD and Instructor of Medicine at Harvard Medical School, told The Bluntness

Smoking too much weed creates a situation where there’s too many cannabinoids rattling around in the user’s brain and they’re getting fighting mad. So, the body retaliates, and things go south. “[It] tries to ‘quiet’ this screaming by removing some of the CB receptors that are part of how your endocannabinoid system normally works,” Dr. Tishler explained. 

“However, this means there are not enough receptors to ‘hear’ the normal internal messages. When we no longer have the normal number of receptors, this leads to dependence and even Cannabis Use Disorder.”

Unfortunately, as much as some of you won’t want to hear it, smoking less is the only way to prevent any kind of issue with tolerance. Hey, the doctor says so. “Safe cannabis use should aim to use as little as possible so that we don’t develop tolerance and we avoid dependence,” Dr. Tishler said. 

It was time to stop bragging about that high tolerance anyway. It doesn’t make you cool or deserving of superhero status. 

In a lot of ways, if you stop and think about it, and I’m being as optimistic as possible, having a high tolerance is a disability. It’s kind of like packing a 13-inch pecker. Sure, it’s impressive, but only about eight inches is ever going to see any action and that’s if you’re lucky. The rest is a waste. 

Bigger is not always better. Smaller doesn’t equate weaker. And the people who take one hit and quit aren’t any less of a cannabis user, just like smoking all day long doesn’t make the high tolerance braggart their stoned superior. Get over yourselves. 

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