CULTURE

Blunt Stories: Who Would You Most Like to Get High With?

If you could smoke up with anyone, who would it be and why?
If you could smoke up with anyone, who would it be and why?

Everyone has someone they idolize, a famous face they consider a hero, perhaps a cultural influence that they would give their left arm and a kidney to spend time with, sharing a joint and conversing about all things life, love, and the secrets of the universe. 

After all, the average person has come to expect that the celebrities they admire from afar have a unique perspective on humanity, especially when they’re stoned. 

For some, it’s on their bucket list to spend an hour getting high with an icon, picking their brains in a quest for enlightenment or just a damn good time. 

The Bluntness recently set out to uncover the public figures, both living and dead, that Americans would most like to get high with. 

Exposing CIA Conspiracies with Bob Marley

Of course, the obvious champions of cannabis culture, like musical legend Bob Marley, came up a time or two. Marley is arguably bigger than Elvis and hailed a marijuana icon by many of those in a relationship with reefer. 

At least one cannabis lover reckons it would be interesting to get red-eyed and ripped with the prince of reggae and find out who he really thinks tried to assassinate him in ‘76 or whether he actually believes the CIA gave him toe cancer. 

“It’s all fishy too me,” 45-year-old Fred told The Bluntness. “There’s evidence that our government, the CIA, was behind it. They couldn’t handle a revolutionary like Bob, so they got rid of him. We’d get high and expose the killers.”

Other members of stoned society want to kick it with the living. 

Chilling with Snoop and Martha

Former Death Row recording artist Snoop Dogg and his newest partner in crime, BFF Martha Stewart, are top of the smoke-with-list. This odd couple is revered as the epitome of mellow fellowship. 

And while Snoop, who has gang ties and was even charged with murder in 1993, is often considered the most controversial of the two, Stewart, the billionaire homemaking mogul, is not without sin. She spent five months in a federal pokey in 2004 after lying to investigators in a case of financial fraud. Sure, it might have been America’s softest prison, but it gave Stewart irrefutable street cred.

“I’d like to smoke with Snoop because he’s chill and I feel like he’s got better weed than the rest of us,” said 34-year-old Sharon. “I’d want Martha there because she’s a bad bitch. She could make the tasty eats and tell crazy stories about prison.”

Smoke Sessions with Cheech and Chong

Comedy duo Cheech and Chong, the undisputable godfathers of the burned-out drug counterculture, too, received their fair share of fried fanfare. Even though the cannabis industry is doing its best to move away from these stereotypes, the average consumer still thinks this classic dyad of the doob makes for great entertainment. “Those guys know how to get high,” a man named Rory told us.

But is it a ruse? 

After all, Cheech, the low-riding, Latino “Love Machine,” whose real name is Richard Anthony Marin, eventually went on to play a cop, of all things, in the television series Nash Bridges

But then again, Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong are just actors. They are also both cannabis consumers and vocal advocates for the cause in real life, yet only one of them lives by the leaf. 

Tommy Chong has long admitted to using cannabis prior to his performances, while Cheech reportedly stays sober. Hey, that’s okay, not all of us can stay high all day and churn out hit comedy gold. Perhaps this is the reason Chong’s hippie persona is so consistent. It’s the real him. 

Nevertheless, Bluntness readers with an affinity for the old school put the duo on their smoke-it list. 

“Those dudes are legends,” 28-year-old Jason tells us, adding that his favorite film of all time is Up in Smoke. “You know you’d be laughing the whole time.” 

Rolling with the RedHeaded Stranger

Another adorned celebrity toker with a line of fanatics wanting a chance to share a buzz is none other than country music legend Willie Nelson. The Redheaded Stranger is an American treasure, celebrated far and wide, not only for his music but his laid-back attitude. Many cannabis connoisseurs would love to climb on his tour bus and ingest his infinite wisdom over a fat sack of grass. 

“Willie would be the one I want to smoke with the most,” 38-year-old Matthew told us. “If God put marijuana on this planet for us to enjoy, I believe he consulted with Willie first. Willie’s the man!”

Getting Cannibinated with Jesus

Not surprisingly, a slew of readers want to share a peace pipe with the big man himself. No, not Santa Claus, the other one: Jesus. 

“It would be nice to get some answers straight from the top,” said Terrance, a 42-year-old from Portland, Maine. 

“Imagine a stoned Jesus calling all of us out for being bad people.”

A Smoke Circle of Departed Loved Ones

Not everyone we talked to, however, would opt to get high with a celebrity. 

For some, sharing one last toke with a dearly departed family member would be far more meaningful. 

“If I could have it my way, it would be to burn one last one with my old man,” 37-year-old Jerry said. 

Others echoed Jerry’s sentiment, although they admit their desire is less about getting stoned and more about making up for lost time. 

“I wish I could smoke one last blunt with my brother,” said 26-year-old John. “Not so much because I want to get high with him, but I would see him one last time.”

Presidential Pardon

Some folks, though, who, if given one shot to smoke weed with someone famous, claim they would use their toking time to further the national cannabis legalization movement. 

“I’d smoke weed with President Joe Biden,” 33-year-old Zach told The Bluntness. 

“That way when I leak the video of him hitting a joint, he'll have to legalize it or be labeled a criminal.” 

Either that or Zach’s going to jail for blackmail. 

Well, probably not. It’s not like Biden would remember it or anything.

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