Sex drive is one of those gifts from the universe that people often take for granted. Humans are born with this instinctive urge to get down and dirty for the sake of pleasure and procreation, yet they never once consider that being down to pound might be short-lived.
While many of us are in a state of constant distress about developing gnarly ailments from COVID to cancer, no one ever seems concerned that they'll eventually lose their desire for diddling. And the clock is ticking.
What's really twisted about this progression from youth to the grave is that there isn't much we can do about it. Low libido can come on with physical and emotional changes, prescription medications, surgeries, and substance abuse.
Or maybe we're just tired. Who knows?
Is weed an aphrodisiac?
Sometimes, our lack of desire to screw like horny teenagers is a complete and total mystery, so trying to pinpoint the cause can be a challenge. Unfortunately, there's no magic potion to turn the sexually defunct into fully erect lunatics in the sack. This can be incredibly frustrating when their partner still desperately wants to get their brains boned out like a feral animal in heat.
Sure, there are all sorts of purported aphrodisiacs on the market, but they're mostly ineffective scams – scams, I tell you!
Do you really think that horny goat weed you got from a vending machine for fifty cents in a gas station bathroom is really going to give you the extra oomph for love? Probably not. Neither will eating the vomit of sperm whales, gnawing on a tiger penis, drinking cobra blood, or whatever other hippy-dippy myths are out there to amp up the old baby-makers.
There is, however, a growing community of people who claim that marijuana can increase sex drive.
"Weed definitely makes me hornier," Jason, a 32-year-old from Cincinnati, Ohio, told The Bluntness. "It also accentuates it and gives me better control of my, ahem, you know. I'd highly recommend it."
Interestingly, experts in the realm of passion and pot claim the effects aren't cut and dry. Many factors dictate how cannabis affects sexual appetite. Award-winning sex and relationship coach Ashley Manta told The Bluntness that cannabis alone is not capable of creating desire out of thin air.
"There's so much involved in desire and arousal – it's multi-faceted and has to do with mindset, physiology, feeling emotionally and physically safe in one's surroundings and with one's partner, allowing one's brain to notice sexually relevant stimuli," she said.
Manta, the author of CBD Solution: Sex and host of the podcast Elevated Intimacy, believes weed is more of a wrecking ball against the ills preventing people from lustful pursuits.
"Things like pain, feeling disconnected from the body, our relentless mental chatter, and attachment to outcomes, and feeling nervous or self-conscious," she said. "With those factors alleviated or at least reduced, it's easier to get into a headspace that's conducive to pleasure."
But the sex has to be worth wanting. Weed is not a miracle herb with the power to make women with selfish partners churn out orgasms like they had in college. Furthermore, being stoned won't transform a minuteman into an Olympic-level orgasm donor.
In other words, although cannabis may help some couples find more fulfilling sexual experiences, the herb cannot fix emotional and physical disconnects or heal abuse. Weed is not a performance-enhancing drug. "Not even the best cannabis is going to make someone crave mediocre sex," Manta declared.
Sometimes cannabis is a hindrance
Cannabis might not even be optimal for those in healthy relationships. In fact, some couple may prefer sex on magic mushrooms.
In some cases, men and women complain that marijuana doesn't make them horny. It actually has the opposite effect – either sucking their sex drive dry or preventing them from having an orgasm.
"I don't care about sex when I'm high. It's the last thing I want to do," says Amber, a 34-year-old from Grand Junction, Colorado.
Meanwhile, Lila of Roger, Arkansas, claims she sometimes gets hornier after getting high, but the headspace always hinders her ability to climax. "It's a lot of fun, but I just can't finish," she said.
According to Manta, there are plenty of circumstances when marijuana can decrease a person's libido, most of which is caused by overconsumption.
"If you're too high and feeling paranoid, or dizzy, or sleepy--you're probably not going to be in the mood for sex," she asserts. "This is why it's good to take the old edibles adage, "start low, go slow" and apply it to any cannabis consumption."
Experimenting and managing expectations
Okay, but how can a person determine if marijuana will increase their sex drive? Practice alone, for starters. Yep, people should experiment with how weed affects their own equipment before allowing others to get in on the mix.
"Try a bit of whatever you're planning to use in a partnered setting and then masturbate," Manta explained. "See what works for your body and what doesn't. That will allow you to make more informed choices in a partnered space."
Sex under the influence of any intoxicating substance can sometimes lead to unwanted encounters, so it is vital to have a clear directive for those belly-slapping adventures before the underwear hits the floor.
"If you're having sex in altered states, make sure you're having a thorough consent and boundaries conversation prior to consuming," Manta said. "Negotiate before you medicate!"
Marijuana might help some regain their sex drive more than others. For those who've experienced surgeries of the prostate or cervix, taking back their libido can prove challenging. These procedures, arguably the most destructive to throbbing carnality, can have devastating effects on a person's psyche.
Concerns of inadequacy often manifest into shame and regret. These are common emotions and totally warranted. "Feeling broken, fearing discomfort, experiencing discomfort, all of these things can make it difficult to get excited about sex," Mantra said.
The process of finding pleasure again post-surgery needs to begin with abandoning expectations. Just because a person's sex life endures a change doesn't mean it can't still be satisfying. However, finding newfound pleasure could take time, so patience and understanding are crucial.
"I encourage people to take the pressure off," Manta said. "Release attachment to sex having to look any particular way and just find things to do with yourself (and/or your partner) that feel good."
Maybe cannabis can help with that.
"If penetration is painful, many have reported that topically applied cannabinoid-infused oils or inserted suppositories can be helpful," Manta advises.
"But remember--there are lots of ways to have sex that don't involve penetration. Use inhaled cannabis to help you slow down and enhance your pleasurable sensations so you can find things that you enjoy – then do those things!"
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