No matter how many articles get published on the subject of “How to Consume Pot Edibles Responsibly,” it seems there’s always going to be an army of cannabis enthusiasts eager to push the limits in the quest to redefine what it means to actually be high. 

These stunt-stoners are novices, perhaps immature, or just downright dumb. 

They are the baked and blockheaded, refusing to heed the warnings, follow recommended dosages and, ultimately, the ones going down. 

They’re always first to beg someone to call 911 as soon as the buzz gets on top of them like a horny animal. 

But hey, who are we to judge? Everyone has a horror story about the time they ate pot edibles and got too high for their own good. If they don’t, trust us, it’s just a matter of time.

“She thought she was going to die.”

Being super, scary stoned is fine, most cannabis advocates will argue, because you can’t die from a weed overdose. 

Sure, it’s true there aren’t any documented cases of anyone being snuffed out by this plant, but that doesn’t make the experience of a green out any less frightening. 

Some of the people we talked to about their misadventures on weed edibles come with a cautionary tale.

“It was terrifying, near psychosis,” one woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, told The Bluntness. Her advice, just like all those “eat responsibly” articles, is to start low. “You can’t stop it once it gets too intense,” she added. 

Indeed, there are some things far worse than death, and sometimes marijuana is the culprit. This is especially true for those less than experienced whippersnappers on weed who think they have what it takes to go toe-to toe with THC. In this bout with bud, rest assured, bud always wins. 

“My best friend tried an edible when we were fifteen,” recounts Stacia, a 25-year-old from Ft. Collins, Colorado. “She thought she was going to die. She ran out of my house and hit the neighbors air conditioner and knocked it out of their window. She kept running around saying “My name is Amber Thompson and I had bad weed!” The neighbors called the cops, and we phoned the ambulance. She got taken to the hospital and continued to tell the paramedics the same thing.”

Incidentally, the weed got off scot free!

Beware of infused beverage dosing

Even a longtime consumer, someone who’s been smoking the herb since they could walk, eating infused goodies long before they were ever neatly packaged and sold legally, can still find themselves haunted by the high of a strong edible. 

The same people preaching, “Man, you aren’t going to die from weed,” are often times the same ones who, given the right amount of THC, break down, find God, and maybe even scrawl their Last Will and Testament on their arms as if they’re moments away from meeting the Grim Reaper. 

For Mitchell, a confessed daily cannabis consumer, his humbling horror show began in a legal state with a 100mg cannabis-infused beverage. 

“I was like yeah, I could handle the whole bottle,” he told The Bluntness. When the drink kicked in, however, Mitchell not only knew he was mistaken, but in deep trouble. 

“I ended up on the floor of the kitchen crying at 2am because I thought I was dying,” he recalled, adding that the high just kept coming. “I was sending final text messages and all that stuff. I woke up hours later still high.” 

Don’t worry, Mitchell made it out alive, but he now approaches THC beverages like they are wrapped in rattlesnakes. “I’m scared of them, buddy,” he said. “I don’t mess with the drinks anymore.”

Still, while drinking mega-doses of THC is never wise, there are plenty of times when getting rocked on edibles is a nice relaxing way to enjoy the outdoors, or a long journey to visit the family for the holidays. 

“Bitch, stay in your seat and breathe.”

Edibles are easy to get through airport security and a lot less conspicuous than a bag of grass. However, Shellie from Terre Haute, Indiana, would caution anyone thinking about consuming edibles before catching a flight to watch their dose. Otherwise, they could find themselves on the no-fly list…or worse. 

“Do not eat an edible on an empty stomach then get on a plane,” she told us. “You about saw my ass on the news as one of those passengers who tried to open the doors. I had to tell myself, bitch stay in your seat and breathe.”

Better cannabis guidance needed

Perhaps it’s time to change the narrative about edibles. The scene has spent so much time programming the public to believe they are safe, because even the worst experience won’t lead to death. But what kind of approach is that? 

There is a wildly frightening, mind-bending, purgatory that exists between being stoned and keeling over dead that isn’t part of the discussion, yet it damn well should be. 

It’s not enough to suggest that novice users start low and slow, that they won’t die, so just breathe. 

Look, everyone understands what happens if they down a fifth of vodka – alcohol poisoning, lots of hurling and possibly even a trip to the morgue – but not many cannabis consumers have any idea what’s in store if they, say, happen to eat eight pot brownies baked by a couple of sex workers with the day off. Take it from Trent, it doesn’t end well. 

“Those girls got me higher than I’ve ever been in my life. In fact, I wouldn’t call that stoned, it’s something else,” he said. “I lost control of my legs; my left eye felt like it was going lazy. I remember I had to use the wall to get to the bathroom. I felt like I was going insane. I wasn’t right for days.”

No doubt, cannabis edibles are fun, just don’t bite off more than you can chew. It could spoil them forever.

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